Cleaning House
by Sabulana
Summary: Tifa never understood why she agreed to clean Cloud and Reno's house... CloudReno shounen ai


A/N: An old challenge fic I found.

Terms:

2-3 pages (ended up being 2 pages)

Contains screaming "Oh my God!" and "yes yes yes!" but no porn or sex.

--

Tifa often wondered why she had agreed to help Cloud and Reno with their housework. It was only an excuse for them to get someone else to do the housework while they loitered for a bit and then disappear into the bedroom.

It wasn't so bad when she was vacuuming. At least then she could block out the screaming. Unfortunately for the brunette, she was finished with the vacuuming now and had to put up with Clouds screams and moans of delight.

"Oh my God!" Right on cue. Tifa rolled her eyes and began sorting through the piles of DVDs on the floor.

"Yes, yes yes!"

Tifa resisted the urge to bang her head off the wall. She tried to keep her mind out of the gutter when she heard Reno say "Oh yeah, you like that, doncha, baby?"

Really, she would have to soundproof that room, she decided.

"Uhn…Reno!" Cloud moaned.

Tifa wondered just what the walls were made of. She thought it was brick under the plaster but maybe it was paper instead.

Thankfully all Tifa had left to do was the washing up and taking out the garbage. However, that would take several trips. How could two men make so much rubbish in one week, Tifa wondered, eying the six bags on the kitchen floor.

A wordless moan floated out of the bedroom.

Definitely going to have to soundproof.

The martial arts expert set to work on washing the dishes. She raised an eyebrow, realising there were at least three dinner sets in the sink/ Did they buy extra so they didn't have to wash up?

After a few minutes of scrubbing at a frying pan, Tifa decided to buy a dishwasher for Cloud and Reno too. She had already bought the vacuum cleaner and everything else for cleaning the house since it seemed the two men had no idea what half the items were used for. All she'd received were blank stares when she told them they needed washing up liquid for the dishes.

More moans came from the bedroom. They didn't stop, even when she'd finished the washing up and took the rubbish out, two bags at a time.

"Excuse me, young lady." Tifa turned to find a rather angry old lady staring at her.

"Can I help you?" Tifa replied.

"Will you tell those two young _men_-" Her voice was filled with venom as she spat the word. "-to please be quiet or they'll damage the children!"

Tifa didn't like the old lady's tone but she didn't comment on it. Instead she politely asked, "Children?"

The old woman pointed to a group of children gathered outside Cloud and Reno's bedroom window.

A delighted scream made the children mutter amongst themselves.

"Do you think they're killing each other?"

"My mommy says they aren't human."

"Well my daddy says they're only that way because of the geostigma…"

"Hey, I had geostigma! Am I going to kill men in my room too?"

Tifa smiled at the innocence of the children. She turned to the old lady. "I think the children are just fine," she said before walking back inside.

When she brought out the last bags of rubbish, the old lady was nowhere in sight but the children were still there.

Smiling to herself, Tifa went back inside to tell Cloud and Reno she was done. She pushed the bedroom door open and walked in.

"Okay, I'm done. You two have a lovely, tidy home now," she said. "Try to keep it that way."

Cloud smiled weakly from his prone position on the bed.

"Thanks, Tif," Reno said, flashing her a smile.

"Oh, and can you two keep the noise down next time? Because there's an angry old lady about accusing you of damaging your audience," Tifa said, gesturing at the window.

Reno got up to look. "Haha! Cloud, we've got a gang of kids listening in," the redhead laughed. "Come and look."

"Ugh, you know your full-body massages turn me into jelly," Cloud replied.

"I wonder if I can get them to do my bidding, yo?" Reno muttered. "I can teach them all I know!"

Tifa laughed, thinking what the old lady would say. "I don't think you should try it," she said. "Anyway, see you later." She turned and left, slamming the door behind her.

Reno turned to Cloud, a sly grin on his face. "She's gone. Up for a round of sex?"

Cloud grinned and beckoned him to the bed.


End file.
